“patchke”

It’s interesting how different people have wildly different definitions of what foods are a patchke* to make.

My aunt, when discussing this topic, always cites her mother in law, who thinks schnitzel is a patchke to make, but has no problem rolling multiple layers of dough to make rugelach.

I, like my aunt, consider schnitzel to be an easy recipe. But I think I can narrow down what makes a recipe feel like a patchke to me:

1. If it needs a thermometer at any stage in the preparation. Yes, this is because I don’t own a thermometer, but even if I did these would still be patchkes because:
2. If it involves “active waiting”. Passive waiting is when you finish the dough
and leave it to rise until whenever you remember about it. Active waiting is when you need to keep monitoring the food to check when it’s ready – for example, taking temperature. Another example is when you need to repeatedly check if something is done. I will, guaranteed, burn any recipe that involves this at least 50% of the time I make it.
3. Small, finicky, precise activities.
4. Absolutely exact measurements.

Anyway, there’s probably more, but all this was just a lead up to saying making malawach has to be the easiest food preparation I almost always mess up.

I’m not taking about making malawach from scratch which I’m sure is a huge patchke. I’m talking about taking a store bought malawach, slapping it down on a pan (you don’t need to grease the pan, the malawach is greasy enough to take care of itself), flipping it after a few minutes, taking it off after a few more minutes, giving the pan a really cursory scrub because malawach leaves barely any mess, and then eating it.

Malawach is an enormously low effort food, if you can only manage to not burn it.

Which I can’t.

I don’t have the patience to stand and look at a piece of pastry cooking (not even a pastry that puffs up as charmingly as malawach does) which means I invariably do something else like write this post. And then I forgot about the malawach. And then someone asks me why the apartment smells like burning.

This round of malawach survived with only miles scorching, so I’m counting it on my tally of malawach successes (hey, as long as the scorched part can be scraped off it’s totally still edible)

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